The Journey To Self; Chronicles Of A Self Love Enthusiast (Part 5) - There's My Truth, And There's Your Truth!

Oftentimes people want you to fit into their idea of a person, who they want you to be so bad, and it really is or can be stressful.
This "wanting people to fit into my own idea of norm" mentality, by the way, is something I had and have been having to slowly unlearn, in my journey to self. (If you missed my last writeup btw, please check HERE)

They start telling you about a certain version of yourself that they only know and can see, from where they sit, and how they view things; a version that you already oftentimes know about, and have accepted already, but do not want to change because that's sincerely who you are; plus you aren't even being harmful with that version of yourself they have described anyway, so you are there like sigh, how and why do I gotta go out of my way to be this person you want me to be?



I mean for instance, everytime I get told I look snobbish/don't look approachable, (I really at this point should be getting paid for everytime I hear this),
I never know if to feel bad, feel sorry, change, or keep apologising.



"You gotta learn how to have an approachable face, you gotta learn to be more or appear friendly"
"You gotta be this,
"You gotta be that",
You gotta be.....



But what if I don't want to be?
What if I don't want to learn how to be?
Because that is not just me?
I am not wired that way and I don't wanna be wired that way?
I don't wanna be the life of the party?
I am fine taking the back seat?
I am fine without makeup?
I don't want to apply makeup?
I don't want to use makeup because you want me to be "finer"?
I am not intentionally being unapproachable, its just who I am?
Can I be allowed to be my own terms of me?
Can I go through my phases on my own?
Can I be accepted and understood without having to explain myself?


And the thoughts in your head go on and on.....

Because its like how many times am I gonna have to explain it's just my face or who I genuinely am?
That it's not personal, it's not intentional, na camouflage sometimes?
No dey look face?
That it's a default poker face? Learned or not.
That I just wanna do me and you should do you?
I mean I don't even wish or even desire to learn to be this person you'd preferably want me to be,
Because that's just uncomfortable and not just me?
So what do I gotta do?
Tattoo a permanent smile on my face?
Train my eyes to light up everytime I see a person?
Go all chucky chuck on people?
Just so I can be accepted?



Like what and why do I gotta change something that is really just part of who I am?
Somewhat like a genetic makeup? Lol

Because really, at the of the day it's pure stress really!
There's someone who is all that I am not, and that is entirely okay!
That I am not who someone isn't, is entirely okay too.

I mean we all gotta learn to sometimes, oftentimes, most times, just adapt & accept some certain things in people; I mean as long as they are not intentionally doing these things to harm you or anyone?
And like I said in the beginning, this, is often a personal constant reminder to myself too, these days; to learn not to take so many things personal!

To accept that people do not have to conform to my own beliefs or fit into my own box of expectations, but to learn to open mindedly accept and love certain qualities in people.
You could too!
Because at the end of the day, there really is "my truth", and there's "your truth".
So can I live?

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Do share.

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